Chapter Text
Monday, March 21, 2016. 12:13pm. Hogwarts - Harry Potter
Minerva: Alright, that’s enough. What is going on?
Harry: I don’t know what you mean.
Minerva: Harry.
Harry: Minerva.
Minerva: We’ve talked about this. No hiding, we work this out together.
Harry: I said it’s fine ffs why won’t you ppl leave me alone?
Minerva: Because we care about you. You have family that loves you and want you happy.
Harry: Well sometimes life isn’t happy, la dee dah.
Harry: Sometimes I’m not bloody well happy and you all are going to have to deal with it.
Minerva: No one is expecting you to be happy all the time, but this was pretty sudden. Your dads called me because they are concerned.
Harry: bully for them
Harry: If they’re so concerned they can take me back to the group home. They know the address.
Harry: Could probably pick up a better kid while they’re there too, why not?
Minerva: You know that’s not what anyone wants. We want to help you get through this.
Minerva: If you won’t talk to Remus or Sirius then talk to me. We used to have lovely tea chats.
Minerva: Or even call up Celeste. She’d love to help.
Harry: I’m sure.
Harry: You know what? Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways.
Harry: I can’t trust you ppl anyways.
Harry: everyone insisted on being so bloody nice to me and put in so much effort
Harry: for what?
Harry: what do you sick f*cks get out of this?
Harry: you got me into this
Harry: why would you do that?
Harry: I was fine where I was
Harry: it was a bit rough but at least I knew what to expect. could hide at the right times, knew what parts of the house to avoid, keep my head down at school don’t make friends
Harry: but now I am jumping at every shadow, second guessing everyone, I keep waiting for the lights to come on and the camera crew to come out saying it was a lie. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Harry: and I was still f*cking surprised when it did what an idiot I am
Harry: I had actually started to believe things might be as good as they seemed
Harry: Fool me once and all that
Harry: well I’m done
Harry: I can’t go back to the Dursley’s but maybe I’d be better off back at Halstrom where at least you know everyone is two faced
Harry: don’t call me.
(5 minutes later)
Minerva: Are you done?
Harry: Yeah I’m bloody well done ffs why are you still here f*ck off
Minerva: We’ll deal with that part later, and convincing you that you are worth good things and good people is something you can thread out with Celeste, but right now I am looking at you. YOU.
Minerva: Something has happened to make you distrust your living situation and, while I understand your need to be vigilant based on where you came from, I need to know what has gone wrong in order to help.
Minerva: What brought this on?
Harry: why should I tell you? You’re all friends you’ll take their side. All probably laughing at the gullible orphan boy falling into the trap.
Harry: I’ve got to hand it to you all though. You really had me going. It’s almost worse than getting hit because at least then you can see it coming.
Minerva: I can promise that we are not out here laughing at you. I can also promise that you can be honest with me and I will believe you. Tell me the facts and help me understand.
(12 minutes later)
Minerva: Harry I’m coming to get you if you don’t respond.
(7 minutes later)
Harry: ffs
Minerva: Are you ready to talk or should we set up tea? Either way I’d like for us to start untangling this before the weekend.
Harry: just leave me alone
Minerva: No can do. I’m frightfully attached once I’ve imprinted and I’m not having you slip through the cracks, not on my watch.
Harry: then stop looking
Minerva: Ha bloody ha.
Harry: why did u bring me to these ppl anyways
Minerva: “These people” have provided you a safe home and I know for a fact they love you more than life. If I am missing something that has been happening behind closed doors, please tell me. I’ll believe you, but I need you to trust me.
Harry: you know, when my uncle got drunk he’d find random sh*t I’d done wrong to punish me. sometimes he’d just be mean. but at least I knew he was a drunk
Harry: was I just supposed to find out about Sirius when it was too late to figure out how to survive it?
Harry: i had to figure it out from a f*cking classmate
Harry: am I just gunna have to wait for him to get mean?
Minerva: Ah. I see what’s going on. You found out that Sirius used to be an alcoholic and no one had told you, is that right?
Harry: Used to be? Ha. Ppl like that never change, looks like he’s fooled you too.
Minerva: While Sirius will always struggle with the way alcohol took over his life, he has been sober for nearly 10 years. Have you not noticed that he doesn’t drink at the Burrow or at home?
Harry: Could have just gotten better at hiding it. Ten years is a long time for a drunk I don’t buy it.
Minerva: I’m not here to convince you, I’m here to get you talking with Remus and Sirius about what is going on.
Harry: what is going on is they f*cking lied and I can’t trust them. Who knows what else they’re hiding.
Minerva: Have you told them that you know? Have you asked about this?
Harry: And give them another chance to hide it from me? Not likely.
Minerva: I think you owe it to them to sit down and talk. I can be there to help if you’d prefer.
Harry: I don’t owe them sh*t.
Minerva: Harry James Potter we sit down and have a chat. What happens after we can decide together, but you need to talk to them.
Harry: Do I have a sodding choice?
Minerva: You have many choices, Harry. But you need to have all the information before you can come to a decision.
Minerva: I take your safety seriously, so we can decide together when and where you’d be most comfortable so you have some control here.
(13 minutes)
Harry: You’re not going to let this go, are you?
Minerva: No. I care about you and your happiness too much.
Harry: ffs how’d I get stuck with so many nosy ppl in my life?
Minerva: You are loved. You’ll get used to it in time.
Harry: you know what? Whatever. You win. I’ll sit for a f*cking chat.
Minerva: Good. Let me know when and where and we’ll get this sorted.
Harry: fine
Minerva: And Harry?
Harry: What?
Minerva: Talk to me like this again and you’ll be grounded beyond the grave.
Harry: …
Harry: …fine.
Breakwater Counselling - Group Therapy Notes
Date : Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Participants : Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin
Counsellor : Celeste Lovegood
Social Worker : Minerva McGonagall
Summary and Partial Transcript:
Initial temperature check - Harry is feeling distrustful and angry; the parents have an apologetic, desperate aura around them. Minerva and I go over the structure of the discussion to lay out a healthy conversation and conclusion. Sirius wishes to start with his account.
Sirius: “I’ve told you before about how I didn’t get on with my parents and that I ended up staying with the Potters, but I held back on just how terrible it was before that. We had just brought you home, I wanted so badly to be a good Godfather to you. I thought I could leave off with the unpleasant bits for a while longer, but I can understand that made you lose trust in us. In me. I am so sorry that we were not transparent with you before now. You’ve trusted us enough to be vulnerable in our home and we should have trusted you with the same. We’d like to correct that mistake now.
“In my teens and early twenties I felt out of control. My family had been nothing but cruel to me, I know you know how that goes, though I’d never presume to compare. They were abusive, but I felt like I deserved it, you know? They were always telling me there was something wrong with me, that I wasn’t made right. And they were right about a bit of that. I didn’t feel right and when I finally told them why, that I was a queer trans man, well I am sure you can imagine it didn’t go great.
“Whether I was kicked out or I ran out, either way I grabbed some things and went to James’ house. He was my best mate and he’d already been calling me brother, it was all I could think of. His parents brought me into their home, called me son, and showed me more kindness than I’d ever known. It was the best time of my life at that point, they helped me start my transition, they made me feel safe, but I still had all these doubts and self-hatred spanning a mile wide. I didn’t believe I deserved the Potters’ love and care. I was convinced that they’d see their mistake any day, so I felt like I needed to prove just how much of a f*ck up I was so they wouldn’t feel as bad letting me go.
“They, of course, were too smart for that and loved me anyways, no matter how self-destructive I got. Remus and I got together and I tried to slow down the partying, tried so hard to believe my friends and my new family that I was worthy. But then Charls and Mia died. By the time they’d caught the cancer it had been too late and they passed away within months of each other. It felt like a sign, like my punishment for getting too close and forgetting what I was. I was out drinking the night James and Lily got into that car accident. Out of my mind pissed and they were coming to pick me up, Remus was with his parents in Wales and trying to talk me out of doing something stupid. Of all the stupidly ironic things, the universe decided to put them in the path of a drunk driver.
“I was devastated. I blamed myself. The drinking got worse until I couldn’t bear to be without it. I almost missed their funeral and I was in no state to take guardianship of you, Harry. It’s my fault you were placed with those f*cking Dursleys and you ought to hate me as much as you need to for that. If I hadn’t been such a royal f*ck up you would never have been with them. Your parents might still have been here and-”
Remus: “Sirius, that’s enough of that. We’ve talked about this, it was the driver’s fault, not yours. That they were coming to see you says more about their commitment and love for you than any blame. They would have wanted to see you happy and thriving and that’s exactly what you’ve done.
“Harry, we won’t sugar-coat this. Sirius truly was a mess back then and it was the lowest point in our lives. But he got through it. We got him into an in-patient program, kept him in an out-patient one when he was sober, and he’s been to daily, then weekly, now monthly meetings ever since.
“We shouldn’t have kept this from you and I am as much to blame for that as Sirius. I cannot overstate how sorry we are for not believing you could handle this, you’ve proven to us on more than one occasion how mature and resilient you are. I suppose we just wanted to focus on you a bit more, wanted to be the best parents we could be. But we are going to make mistakes. We already have. We did not feel confident enough to seek you out when you were younger because we felt guilty, like we didn’t deserve that place in your life when you were happy elsewhere.
“Obviously, we were wrong about that too and I can promise you we will never lie to you, even by omission, ever again. We want to build this family on trust, honesty, and love, and we hope that we can earn your forgiveness and move forward together.”
We take a break to clear the heavy emotions from the air and allow Remus to comfort Sirius. Harry is pensive and has a private conversation with Minerva. Resumed to lead Harry through his reactions and feelings around his guardians’ story. With Minerva’s support and encouragement, Harry shares his experiences with his uncle and how he would get more physically violent when he drank. He admits that the smell of whiskey turns his stomach and he’s experienced anxiety attacks when it happens.
Remus: “Harry, I am so sorry. We took you to the pub!”
Harry: “No, no! It’s not like that. I mean, neither of you had any, obviously though now that I know. And that was fun. I felt like you trusted me, like I was part of your lives. I think that’s why I felt so angry with you both that you hadn’t told me. I figured there had to be something else, some trick, otherwise why hide it? I’ve never been able to trust the adults around me. They never have my interests in mind, best or otherwise. I didn’t want to believe you were the same, but here was proof. At least to me.”
Sirius: “Oh pup, nothing could be farther from the truth. I would rather tie myself to the rocks and sacrifice my innards to the vultures than purposely hurt you. Knowing that I have is gutting and we just want an opportunity to make this a proper family. If you’ll have us.”
Remus: “Despite his penchant for dramatics, Sirius is right. We love you so much, dwtty , and we’d be honoured if you accepted our plea to be your parents.”
Harry: “No vultures then?”
Sirius: “You can set them loose on us yourselves should we fail you this spectacularly again.”
Remus: “Quite right, too.”
Harry, Sirius, and Remus come to an agreement and we are able to schedule a follow-up for next week. Final temperature check - Harry is wary, cautiously relieved; Sirius is shaking, but determined; Remus is resolved and happy.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016. 11:55am. Hogwarts - Ron Weasley
Harry: hey
Ron: hi
Harry: listen, I’ve been a prat
Ron: yeah, you have
Harry: you didn’t deserve that
Ron: ur right, I didn’t
Ron: are you going to tell me what that was about?
Harry: yeah, I can. I’ll tell you everything at lunch, but I was feeling f*cked over bc of Sirius.
Ron: what did Sirius do?
Harry: Technically? Nothing. I realize that now. But when I found out that he used to be an alcoholic I guess I just snapped.
Harry: my uncle drank. A lot. Not saying my reaction was logical, but I guess I felt like I’d been lied to, like it was all going to start in again.
Harry: I’m still not completely sure, but we’re giving it another go. I owe it to them.
Harry: So, sorry I took it out on you. I was mad at everyone, thought they were in on it.
Ron: mate, if I’d known I woulda told you, I swear it. Sirius is a good bloke, from what my mum says he’s been clean for years now and Remus has kept him in line.
Ron: they wouldn’t have been lying to you on purpose, they probably just didn’t know how to talk about it.
Harry: yeah, that’s what they said, what Minerva said. We had some sort of intervention yesterday. It was rough, but we said what needed saying and we’ll try it again.
Ron: I’m glad to hear it, Harry.
Ron: But don’t think you’re off the hook. I know you’ve been through a lot of sh*t, most I can’t even imagine, but you can’t take it out on me like that. I’m not your punching bag, I’m your friend and I want to help, but I’m not going to roll over whenever you’re tetchy.
Harry: yeah, fair.
Harry: I’ll do better, keep calling me out, yeah?
Ron: Can do. Listen, Pince is coming round study hall now and I gotta go. See you at lunch?
Harry: yikes, run while you can. I’ll see you in a bit.
Harry: And Ron? Ta. Really. You are a good friend and I am really glad we met and that you’ve dealt with my sh*te.
Ron: Right back at you, mate. I’m not going anywhere. :)
Harry: :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2016. 7:35pm. Instagram Post
@ Grimmauld
[image description: Plates of misshapen triangle cookies with various jammed fillings cover the table on cooling racks.]
Liked by theburrowbrood, sproutinonup, and 56 others
grimmauldgoons: We are celebrating Purim with a batch of hamantaschen! The perfect beginners pastry for us novice lads. (Don’t tell Della, but we had to google the recipe). Hope your festivities were as sweet as our! (heart eyes emoji) #purim #purimsweets #bakedgoods #jewish #hamantaschen
Comments:
mollywobbles Valiant effort, boys! You’ll have to bring the leftovers for supper sometime.
> siriuslybadass Uhhhh, what leftovers?
> loonylupin I think you underestimate how much Sirius and Harry can eat.
> mollywobbles @loonylupin I have 7 children, I underestimate nothing and I said what I said.
> loonylupin @mollywobbles Yes ma’am. Leftovers for supper, ma’am. :|
> mollywobbles What sweet gentlemen! >:)
roonilwazlib @madhazzer does that mean I get leftovers too?
> madhazzer @roonilwazlib you deserve more than leftovers, i saved you a full batch. I’m sorry, mate.
> roonilwazlib @madhazzer u don’t need to keep apologizing, i love you mate. buuut I won’t say no to cookies…
thetonksinator If I run, will there be any left at the shop?
> loonylupin When have a I ever not brought some to the shop?
> thetonksinator Always a first time! I’m covering my tracks.
> ginnibuster23 @thetonksinator You’ll slip up one day. One day soon.
> thetonksinator @ginnibuster23 Get rekt, there’s nothing to find.
> ginnibuster23 @thetonksinator Everyone has something…
della.mae.lupin Remus John Lupin! Are you telling me you are feeding your boys inauthentic hamantaschen?? Enough is enough. You are all coming home for Pesach to learn the right way. No excuses.
> loonylupin @della.mae.lupin Yes, Mam. We’ll be there for first seder.
> siriuslybadass @della.mae.lupin Yes Mum! We’ll be there Mum! So sorry Mum!
> della.mae.lupin @siriuslybadass And change your username! You are a da now.
> siriuslycharmant @della.mae.lupin Yes Mum! Right away Mum!
Tuesday, March 29, 2016. 12:18pm. Hogwarts - Draco Malfoy
Draco: Hey, Harry. I know you’ve been avoiding me, and that’s fair. I was rude and crass and it was unacceptable. I know that now. I am a bit of a git sometimes and I shove my foot in my mouth more often than not. I’m not making excuses, but I’d like to make it up to you. While we could just do our separate bits of the project and put it together, I’d still like to collaborate with you and apologize in person. Please let me know. Again, so sorry.
(3 hours later)
Harry: You are a git. And rude. And self-centred. And a bit of a pompous ass.
Harry: But I guess we can try again.
Harry: On thin ice though, you. We’ll stick to the project and you don’t get to talk about my family, yeah?
Draco: Agreed! Yes! You are right. Of course you are. Yes, okay.
Draco: This Saturday? Still my place or we could go to yours? Or a more neutral ground? A café? A library? Park? You name it!
Harry: Err, yeah okay. But next Saturday. Not the park, still raining like anything this week. If you promise to stop being so weird about it we can go round yours.
Draco: Right, yes, good, great. Not weird. Yes. Good. See you Saturday next. At mine. I’ll text you the address. See you then.
Harry: Right, bye.
Tuesday. 4:30pm. Group Chat - salty bitches
Draco: OKAY okay okay okay.
Draco: I did it.
Draco: Harry is giving me another chance.
Draco: [screenshot sent]
Draco: H E L P
Pansy: Good job not f*cking it up right away. There is hope for you yet.
Blaise: Quite right too. Great copy and paste job on that apology we worked on.
Draco: I don’t know whether to be offended or grateful so I’ll settle on wary.
Pansy: Probably for the best pet. When’s he round yours?
Draco: Next Saturday. How do I be normal?? My palms are already sweating.
Blaise: Taking back the hope bit.
Draco: OI! I need my friends to have my back!
Blaise: Bold of you to assume…
Draco: (crying emoji)
Pansy: Now, now, Blaise, he is fragile. Let’s get him back up to speed so he can stop moping about.
Draco: Yes! Me! Fragile! Assist me!
Blaise: [*help I’ve fallen and can’t get up* meme]
Blaise: it u
Draco: [*surprised pikachu* meme]
Pansy: [*hurts a little* meme]
Draco: Hurts a lot tbh. I need new friends.
Pansy: Please. We’re the only ones that’ll have you in your theatrical fits.
Blaise: mood
Draco: Is this an abusive relationship? [*is this a pigeon* meme]
Pansy: [*monkey puppet* meme]
Blaise: [*hard to swallow pills* meme] “ur friends are assholes and u should feel bad”
Draco: [*arthur fist* meme]
Pansy: Alright fine, we love you and we will help you bc you are hopeless without us!
Draco: Yay! Love! Affection! Words of vague validation!
Blaise: We’ve got our work cut out for us, Pans. Best get to biz.
Draco: Meet you round yours for dinner?
Blaise: Yeah, dads making spicy peanut stew. See you in a bit.
Pansy: Bringing the world domination notebooks!
Draco: Y I P P E E
